Current location:	Home
Current mood:	tired
Current music:	Fiona Apple "Oh Well"

even with such a lifespan here, i had only one really crappy day.
"Oh what a cold and common old way to go
I was feeding on the need for you to know me
Devastated at the rate you fell below me

What wasted unconditional love
On somebody
Who doesn't believe in the stuff

Oh well..."


yes... yes, you dont have to tell me.

i know. ive known for a while actually.
but i had a hard time bringing myself to do it.



no news is good news i guess, which means that i havent really had news to report so to speak. i have obviously returned from my trip to illinois and not much has happened since. i mostly work, eat and sleep everyday. but then again so do millions of people around the world everyday. i am just one of them as well.

my trip across the united states made me realize how much i missed traveling. when i worked at kmart it was really easy for me to take a weekend off and go to wherever i wanted. i guess i feel like i dont really have that freedom as much as i used to. perhaps it is the fact that some people who live in other places are not my friend anymore. perhaps its because those that live in other places are too busy or have their own lives to lead without me in them. whatever the case, i feel like i dont have the escape from the everyday drudgery of life any longer. that is unless i leave the state of california or something.

coincidentally, i am planning a few trips this year in the hopes to leave the state more often. the first being this may on a road trip to hopefully visit mr. hale in arizona, as taking a plane there and back would cost over $300, i thought i might as well drive and it be cheaper. i am hoping to do so in may just in time for the stache bash, or at least something like it. other than that, i hope to head back to illinois to visit jon & bethany as well as possibly go to cornerstone. that seems so far away though i should start planning it now. and of course, there is the whiskerino throwdown to look forward to toward the end of this year. and although its not leaving the state by any means, taylor and i are going to san francisco next weekend.



oh yes, that reminds me... i have yet to mention taylor. he is my newest friend but he is an old familiar at the same time. as typical with rolling in the same crowds, he is from paso (kinda) and knows most all of the same people/music/whatever that i do. he moved from pismo to here as a transfer at my work. he comes at a nice time too as i could use someone around me the majority of the time that i love. its been an interesting journey he and i have had. we have hung out everyday since we met (well minus one day that is). that sounds extreme, but keep in mind we work together too. its kinda nice because we are pretty similar people with familiar backgrounds and can read each other pretty well for knowing each other for such a short time period. its nice to have a friend these days too. however, he seems hellbent on accidentally destroying everything at my house including scratching the wood floor and having his car leak oil all over the driveway. my mom is going to be so mad when she gets back.

oh yes, my mom is in the philippines again. this time for 3 months while she stays at her beach house that they built. thats right, beach house. but whatever. so i have the house to myself, which is nice because i can leave stuff wherever i want and play music really loud whenever i want, but it is oddly lonely. i have taylor stay here sometimes to keep me company. hes really nice about it. i like having people over as well. ive always had the gift of hospitality i guess. but i feel kinda trapped here too because i have to upkeep the house, watering plants, constantly cleaning up, paying bills for my mom, not to mention the ridiculous tasks that she asks me to complete for her while shes gone, like mailing her copies of the la times sports section and coastal living magazine, which i can only find at barnes and noble by the way, and also transferring $1000 to her bank account because she wants to build a fence? yes, this is what my mom does with her money. builds $1000 fences in the philippines for her beach house that she lives in for a few months out of the year halfway across the world. but needing to be here is making me claustrophobic. in fact looking at my calendar for this month of march, other than my work schedule and a few meetings for various things, i had absolutely nothing planned. it was kinda sad. luckily, i had every monday off and so did taylor coincidentally, so our sundays ended up being our funday. (haha...) but other than that, not a single thing planned.



oh there was a trip to santa cruz to see david play at a house show last month. super awkward setting, but enjoyable time nonetheless. it was nice to see him play and catch up for a bit. ann is pregnant again and they will be having a boy sometime in june he said. thats nice new to hear for me at least. i like to hear it when families continue to grow. and he was having a good time on the house show tour. i was going to have him play at my house but didnt end up working out because my mom was still here when he was coming through. too bad because it would have been really fun to have all my friends there you know?



with all of this work and no play, im starting to get a bit crazy. like the shining style for realz. and my ankles hurt constantly from standing for long periods of time. it makes me wonder why i work this much at all to be honest. i really want to just quit in the middle of work someday. i think i will... haha. but i make a lot of money i guess. ive been buying a lot of stuff lately with that money too. and remember how difficult it was for me to get credit? well since ive bought all of this stuff, i have achieved really good credit and got an american express card the other day. i also got an offer from my bank for a credit card with a limit of $4500?! yeah... i REALLY dont need that right now. but ive been buying a bunch of stuff... like i got a polaroid pogo for $30 on ebay. it sucks kinda but its super fun. i also bought a yashica-mat 124 which is an old tlr that uses medium format film. i also have purchased a lot more film lately, including a bunch of old expired 35mm and 120mm film for super cheap in ebay, and a LOT of peel apart film, polaroid and fuji. i have been having a lot of fun with these cameras as of late. i got a bunch of new ones, most notably a polaroid automatic 100 land camera and a polaroid big shot used for portraits. i even bought a external flash and a new lens for my 40d, which im sad to say has been a bit neglected lately because of my current love for all things film. its been nice though. ive been loving every shot ive been taking lately and its great.



my hair is getting long. i have quite a love/hate relationship with it.
i have also gained weight and can fit into a select few of my clothes now. i only have a hate relationship with that. but im working on it.

also, for the first time ever i am actually satisfied by how much film (polaroid, 35mm, 120mm, etc.) i have in my fridge. i think mostly because there is more film in there than food. priorities you know.

i guess i really am a real photographer as taylor so eloquently put it. haha.

oh and did i mention that i was in a wired magazine blog? and they used my photo without permission? and now its also on kennyrogers.com? thats right. check it out.