Current location:	The Carlton, Atascadero, CA
Current mood:	safe
Current music:	Andrew Bird "A Nervous Tic Motion Of The Head To The Left"

The timing is almost perfection.


"You're what happens when two substances collide
And by all accounts you really should have died..."

Sorry.

I know youve missed me so.





my trip to oklahoma was really good. good for me anyways. i rethought a lot of things for the first time. i guess because it was the first time where i could clear my head and think deeply about things and decisions i had been making lately. i think at home, there is too much to distract me and keep me busy so i neve had time for myself. the south seems to bring that out in me in a way that no other place can. plus, ty and reagans house was super inviting and fun for me. ty worked from home so i wasnt really lonely in the house and i had a great time doing a whole lot of nothing all day and then random fun stuff at night... going to random bars to get lunch boxes for reagans bday... robotic wednesdays!... seeing mewithoutyou and damien jurado in tulsa... french toast night... lightining storm... it was all good. plus, they have a lot of pets which was fun! haha... i dont know... i never get to hang out with pets long enough to like them and hugo, a black lab, was my favorite! he made me want a dog for realz. but i didnt really write about my oklahoma trip because (and i know this is gonna sound silly) i didnt take any photos while i was there. well, minus some film stuff. haha... im silly sometimes. but i really did have a good time. i kinda want to go there every year!

with the seasons ending, new winds have changed as of late, and it seems like who i spend my time with lately has as well. after coming back from the okc, taylor pretty much told me that i am a constant bad reminder of the past for him and would rather not hang out with me at all. (weird considering we didnt really have that bad of times i feel, but ok) but i thought that perhaps that is for the better, for his own sanity. he came back from his medical leave a few weeks ago, but we have yet to work together as he has switched to work solely at night. i personally have no problem with the dude and would like to hang out with him again and really think he needs a friend right now, but if he feels hes doing better without me in his life, more power to him. far be it from me to be a constant bad reminder in life, although i still dont know how i wronged him exactly. whatever.



in leiu of not hanging out with him, i have started to spend time with new/old friends if you will. haha... that sounds silly, but it been nice getting to know people that ive know or known of for a long time but are only now getting around to hanging out with them. its kinda... strange i guess. but good i think. at least to make friendships that i already had all the more deeper. hanging out with ashley has been really fun... its been nice going out again and the battle of the salons was definitely something... well, new. haha... but i had a lot of fun and it wasnt even just checking out really strange hairdos and outfits. i think being an "awesome power couple" and "nice eye candy" in a room full of strangers who think i have a "unique look" can be fun. walking into a room where people stop and stare at you is a... not necessarily good but an "interesting" feeling. not that i really need that ego boost anyways. :) also, ive decided to make josh my newest bearded brother (in law). so far, he is my new favorite person. its funny because i havent found anything wrong with him yet... haha. that sounds funny. but i had a lot of fun with him at hardly strictly bluegrass and, you know, hes an unknown familiar and fits the usual style of dude that i like to befriend. a guy thats a musician/scene/too cool for me to actually hang out with but i try to anyways. haha... that makes me wonder sometimes why i relate with musicians... i mean, i enjoy music, but i by no means at all want to be a musician or desire the awkward fame that comes with being a musician or those associated with them. but i think maybe i just like musicians because of the i guess... relation of the arts if you will. i mean, i consider myself an artist (of sorts) and so i guess when im with like minded people in that of the artistic, whether it be in the form of photos, music, fashion, etc, i feel comfortable with them like im at home.

Also, i hung out with drew yesterday which is pretty much a miracle. i still dont know how that even happened really. but it was fun.







oh yes, hardly strictly bluegrass. now there was an experience. much better than last year for me, which was burdened by time constraints and pulling my luggage through dirt roads and forests, this time was a blast. staying at hayli and skyes apartment was probably the best thing since they lived 2 blocks away from the park so everything was always within close distance, although we did miss mc hammer which i was disappointed about. but it was really fun to be in a place with a lot of my friends listening to music all day long. and there were people from orange county... tennessee... people i didnt even know who lived in the bay area... all over the place! i love having friends everywhere and them being all in one spot. its nice to turn a corner and see a familiar face you know? while i was there i got to see the "he aint gonna email you no mo" singers at a muni station. i also got to look through an old ag high school yearbook and found zac efrons freshman photo... hes a big dork. also, zeb was out of control constantly. oh my God... i dont even want to talk about it right now... marleigh and her friends rented this insanely nice villa in the rich part of sf, which had this crazy view of the whole city. we hung out there the first night of the festival and sang songs til 3am as usual. i also got to hang out with dylan there which i was very happy about... i love that dude so much. the day we got into town, sierra and i went to see david bazan and i asked him if he wanted to go out on a date. he shot me down, but whatever. obviously hanging out with cameron was much more important than me. haha... also i got to see aimee mann perform and now my life has come full circle. interesting how things like that work out.



in this moment, i am safe.